Ginger Whinger Harry is the latest patient to come down with hypocrisy virus

Stand by your beds, folks, because there’s a new virus in town. It’s guaranteed to make you feel very sick indeed and probably punch the nearest wall.

No, not Covid (so last season, sweetie) – it’s the Hypocrisy Variant. More contagious than anything that ever emerged from a Chinese lab and causing more sermonising than the Taliban on acid (as opposed to their favoured heroin obvs).

It all started with our politicians, their advisers and scientists. A fascinating but dangerous mix of power-crazed egos who never met a crisis they couldn’t turn into a doomsday death cult to terrify the plebs (that’s us) with.

While we were warned not to go within several miles of our grannies because we’d definitely kill them and locked up in a mental health-destroying isolation hell, they carried on doing whatever they damn well wanted.

Driving around the country, meeting who they liked and blowing the whole bubble concept to, er, indulge in a different kind of blowing with their mistresses.

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Meanwhile we were force fed a constant diet of fatalities, fear and “modelling” predicting millions of deaths and a collapsed NHS.

All of it more balls than former health secretary Matt Handcock put into even his most fevered romping with the hired help.

But the message was clear. We are the ruling elite, we are intelligent and superior and you must do as we say, not as we do, because you are too stupid to know what’s best.

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They’d done the same with Brexit beforehand so maybe we shouldn’t have been that shocked. Project Fear is now how we roll.

When the Hypocrisy Variant is most pandemic, though, is climate change. Or CLIMATE EMERGENCY as the terminally afflicted would have it.

Where to start with the list of offenders in this one?

Well the Ginger Whinger and his failed actress missus never fail to exhibit every symptom of sanctimony in this arena. Quite aside from the fact they rattle around in a 16-bathroom mansion (water waste anyone?) and have insisted in adding to the surplus population of the world (one child only please!), they never knowingly waste a second of their highly paid Netflix and Spotify time not to lecture us how to live our lives.

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The latest example was the “ordinary, private husband and father” using a £45million private jet to fly 750 miles to play polo.

Enough to make you spit feathers isn’t it? Though only if they’re from “rescue chickens” obviously.

Meanwhile, thespian luvvy Stephen Fry has voiced his support for the Extinction Rebellion idiots currently bringing the centre of London to a standstill with a giant pink table (no, me neither).

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This will be the very same Stephen Fry who is the face and voice of Heathrow Airport welcoming visitors to the UK. You know, visitors who have all flown in on, er, pollution-spewing jets.

Even the founder and high priestess of the Extinction sect – Dr Gail Bradbrook – was forced to admit by my lovely TalkRadio colleague Cristo Foufas that she drives a diesel car because she “can’t afford an electric one and needs to drive her kids to rugby”.

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Meanwhile, we all have to dump our gas guzzling cars and planet destroying boilers NOW.

This week we also had the self-righteous Mayor of London Sadiq Khan, a man obsessed with making everyone ride bikes and/or walk, taking a three car convoy (all petrol or diesel) 4.5 miles to exercise his dog.

Sadly there doesn’t appear to be a vaccine for the Hypocrisy Variant yet, though maybe China could help here?

Because when it comes to climate change the country that gifted us bat lurgy currently spews out 27% of CO2 emissions. The UK just 1%.

So if all those scolding us on climate could force themselves to take one more flight, let them make it to Beijing and see how far they get with their pink tables and lectures.

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